Well, I feel better today, but I didn’t feel very good yesterday. It was just That Sort of Day where suddenly your cute baby sister realizes she has a Will Of Her Own, and also that she can scream–really loud. And your little brother decides (with much wailing and flopping) he ONLY wants to play computer and ONLY wants to eat sugar–Both of which are forbidden at the moment. And when you need a shower but don’t have time. And things keep spilling. And when you’re making supper and you can’t find a can opener OR a peeler. And you feel a little bit sick. And you woke up feeling tired and sore. And you’re getting angry much more easily than usual. And you just don’t want to do anything but sit around and read, but the house is a mess and you really have to do something. And it’s rainy, which is nice if you’re outside, but inside it just makes things feel more gloomy. And there are lots of thoughts going around in your head, but most of them are no good. And you try to focus on God but He just seems far away. And the enemy keeps suggesting all kinds of awful things, and you have to fight so hard it makes you tired.
Yeah. That kind of day.
I’ve been learning, though, that whether or not I feel good, God is still good. He is still Here. He is still loving. He is still just and righteous. He is still True.
He is still God, whether I feel like He is or not.
I’ve been learning to be thankful when the feelings match reality–when I feel loved, when I feel accepted, when I feel God near, when I feel joyful and blessed.
But I’m also learning to be thankful for those times when I don’t feel any of those things–because it is in those times that I must trust God solely based on His word–not my feelings. That is where faith really comes in.
Nope, I don’t have this down. Not at all.
But I am learning.