Observing

So the weather has been amazing here, and I’ve been outside quite a bit more… this afternoon, I laid out on the grass in the front yard, and just looked. There is an incredible little word that we so rarely see… in such a teeny part of our yard, I saw insects I’ve never seen before and tiny flowers I’d never noticed. (And I notice things like that.) After awhile of being mesmerized by all these tiny wonders, I got my camera. You just can’t help it after awhile if you’re a photographer of some sort… haha.

Anyway, here’s some of what I saw as captured by my camera. Though there was a lot more. I hope you enjoy! (By the way, bugs are camera shy. They don’t mind if you watch them, but when there’s a camera involved they keep hiding. Hence so few pictures of them… but there are a few. You just have to look hard.)

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(I also looked up)

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Which one(s) struck your fancy? Why?

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Tumbled Thoughts and Things

This has been a particularly strange morning. Not outwardly, but inwardly. I have no idea what’s going on, really. I’ve drawn a page full of swirlies, a page full of straight lines, a few pears and an apple and a mug, a ribbon, and a some other things. I just needed to draw. And now I feel like I have to write. Or run. Or punch or kick something. I miss the punching bag. And New York. And lots of people.

It’s gorgeous outside. Which is making me want to be outside and Do Things, but I’m inside in the office. The doors are open, though, which is good. And I can hear a bug, maybe a cicada, singing away. If you can call it that. But it is a happy sound. Also the sound of the printer, and Hannah rustling papers, and myself typing.

I’ve been thinking about Things, way too many things.

About ritualistic abuse and child sacrifice, and the fact that it happens here. About Halloween and the way it relates to the aforementioned. About our mission trip and what that means. About my life and what God wants me to focus on. About the opportunity to help fight Common Core. About Facebook and what it’s doing to us. About writing. About language, and the differences between languages, and grammar, and how that affects us. About God. About the Meaning of life. About the universe and it’s vastness and what that means. About my smallness and yet my value in God’s eyes, and that doesn’t make sense. About the tile business and how strange it is that I’m in it. About creation and the fact that it exists and why did God make it, really? About the spiritual world and it’s being real, and why don’t we think about it as real? About American culture and how out of touch we are in some ways. About the warped sexuality that is so pervasive here. About the great wrongs that are in the world that the church turns a blind eye to. About how can people just pretend they don’t see things. About how people can spend $13,000 on a TUB and there are children dying? About our government’s absurdity, especially in the realm of money and schools. About the family and it’s sorry state. About thinking about thinking. About friendship and what it really is and how do you do it? About words and Meaning and how that all works. About getting shots and which ones do we need? About fire and how it both sustains and destroys life. About our senses, both physical and spiritual. About learning guitar, and music, and what is music anyway? About working on our church building, and why don’t people help more? About everyone trying to be perfect, but no one is, and why  must we keep pretending? About abortion, and the girls who feel like they have no choice, and how it really is a way to get women to exploit themselves while thinking they are being “liberated” and what a wickedly despicable lie it is. About the fact that we have a Real enemy, but we act like we don’t and we are being attacked violently on a regular basis, without defense and without fighting back. About Pregnancy Solutions, and what a powerful, needed ministry they are. About how God has been putting so many opportunities in my path lately, and which should I focus on? About using time wisely, or not. About eternity and what it will be like. About the Bible, and how it was written and what to do about it. About my physical health and wondering if everything’s okay or not, and if I’m strong enough to go on the trip, probably I’m not, and that’s probably okay because God wants to show me that. About humility, and how necessary it is but how rare it is, and how can we be proud when God and the universe are so vast and we can’t even make ourselves taller, or create a fly? About the fact that so many very hurt people are hurt worse by the church, and how is that even possible?? About the fact that there are so many who say they are Christians, and yet don’t act like it, and if you point that out people say you are “throwing stones” and maybe they are the ones who are actually throwing them? About how crazy it is that we Christians can rejoice and glory in tribulation, not just accept it. About prison, and my friend who is there, and how people don’t talk about Such Things. About marriage and if it will ever happen to me, and maybe probably I’m too busy for a man. About all the girls I know who are struggling with so many things, and how it’s just not Right. About the Bright Lights girls and how dearly I want them to Get It about God and life. About how glad I am that the light switch is fixed. About how cute Esther is. About prayer and how it works and what it really is and why God set it up like that. About death and what it would be like to die and the fact that I probably will die. And so will people I love. About the fact that there are at least two people that I have a premonition will die for the cause of Christ. About rebuke that is done right and wrong. About faith and what it is and how to have it and why don’t we have more faith–maybe because we don’t want to? About… so many other things.

And this would be the reason I would sort of grin and think people should be very grateful that I didn’t take Facebook literally when it asked what was on my mind. 😛

It’s also why I haven’t been blogging much, because how on earth could I make those thoughts into blog posts, and which one would I start with??

And by the way, now all the blog posts in the sidebar start with T. For those who like That Sort of Thing.

And this has been a pretty much completely useless blog post, unless you happen to be fascinated with what I am thinking about; which I don’t know why you would be. Oh well. If you read all that, and if you wanted to hear more about one of those things, comment and let me know and maybe I’ll blog about it. Maybe.

Thoughts and Words

So I’ve been having lots of thoughts, but not many words. I don’t really know why, quite. Probably because my thoughts haven’t fully developed yet. Probably because there are so many of them. Maybe it’s just because I don’t understand them yet. (That actually happens rather a lot. If I’ve ever confused you, don’t worry, I regularly confuse myself.)

It doesn’t help that they range from very exuberant (I don’t use that word near enough; it’s a good word) to quite downcast and heavy. And that’s okay, I guess; life is that way. But it’s just hard to know which to blog, ya know?

Anyway. I just kind of wanted to pop in and say hi, and I’m still alive, and thinking, and stuff’s happening. And sometime maybe it will get on here in words and/or pictures.

Oh, and also–our tickets to Central America have been purchased!! Which is both freaky and really exciting. 😀 We are leaving in one and half months as of today!

And…pray. Please. Just… do. About everything and anything. But pray in a way that costs you something.

Trip Timeline (So Far)

August 25th 2013– “Wonderly and Co.” (Paul Wonderly of SOS fame and two friends) visited our church. Paul told us about the upcoming trips. (Also they ate tacos at our house.)

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August 26th 2013–Our dad suggested we go on the December trip to Central America. We started looking it up and considering it seriously.

August 20 something–we started filling out our applications.

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September 6th–Josiah and I applied for our passports

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September 16th–We had all sent in our applications and were accepted.

Also September 16th–we got our passports!!

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September 18th– Hannah and I earned $200 each by staining grout

October 1st–we had our first donation of $10 from a little girl who goes to Bright Lights. 🙂

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October 9th–We found out we needed $950 basically ASAP and then $500 ish two weeks after that.

October 11th–I scraped together my money and had $650

October 12th–My dad gave me $200, so I only needed $100. I asked God to provide it at church.

October 13th–Before church even started, one of my friends at church handed each of us a check. For $150 each.

Also October 13th–We did a slide presentation at church about our trip.

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And ALSO on October 13th–We found out that someone from church had donated $2,000!!! Which means… that our trip is now FULLY FUNDED!! 😀 That, folks, is God in action.

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(I took this picture last night, but turns out today is Columbus day. Which means the mail isn’t running. 😛 So it goes out tomorrow instead. But still!!)

It’s been quite the adventure already! Looking forward to watching as God continues to work. 🙂

P.S. If you want to donate still, feel free. We still have a few more expenses to cover and we are also still collecting money for SOS Ministries.