So I’ve been struggling inwardly with various things–some of them really deep. (prayers appreciated!)
Last night I finally prayed the way I needed to… and during that prayer, something came to mind that helped some things make more sense to me. Whether or not God showed it to me, I’ll leave you to decide. But it helped me out quite a bit, and I thought it might help some of you. 🙂
I first thought of a jewel or a gemstone… and then rather abruptly saw the process that went into making it all smooth.
First there was the more drastic part of sanding/cutting away parts, making it roughly into the right shape.
But then there’s the tumbling part; the part where there’s lots of little grains of sand, and lots of tumbling, and lots of annoying noise, and you can’t see what’s happening, and it takes SO LONG. (at least the little dinky one we had once did.)
And I’ve been feeling that lately.
I don’t see what God is doing. Sometimes I think I haven’t got anywhere at all, at least not on the inside.
There are many little “grains of sand” that annoy me and bother me and distract me.
I’ve definitely been feeling quite tumbled about, especially in my mind. It’s hard to know which way is up sometimes.
There’s been a lot of noise, inwardly and outwardly, and it doesn’t seem to be doing any good. All it seems to do is confuse me.
It seems like I’ve been in this place for a while, a long while, and I don’t know when it will end and I wish it would just hurry up.
And… having that image in my mind of the rock tumbler makes it all make a little more sense. God IS working, even though I can’t really see it and it just feels annoying and confusing. I’m realizing that I am not really used to this part yet. I was braced fairly well and mostly trusted God for the first round; the really hard stuff. But now this endless tumbling about with tiny grains of sand… ugh. Not nice.
But now I can understand, a little more, of what God is doing. And I am learning to be patient with Him as He allows me to go through this time in the Rock Tumbler. He knows what He’s doing, and He knows the outcome. I just need to submit to His work.