This is a Blog Post

(This is a draft I wrote back before I had posted on here… Thought I might as well post it just to give you a glimpse of what my life has been like.)

In which I say things. Because it’s been waaaaayyy too long. I blame my iPhone. And life. And other stuff.

Actually it’s my fault. I’m a big girl now.

So, what has happened since February 26th?

I’ve been to El Salvador and Honduras and back. I’ve turned 24. I’ve finished a journal. I’ve made new friends. I’ve done things I’ve never done before, like passing out 2 ENGLISH gospels of John IN AMERICA. Scary stuff, people. (somehow Spanish ones in CA are easier to give away.) And going to a picnic with Muslims. I’ve cooked lots of food like soup and muffins and chili and zucchini pie. I’ve been sick a few times. I’ve learned more Spanish and played guitar here and there. I’ve been doing Bright Lights. I’ve been to ECHO with my friend Rebeka who came down to visit me for a week. My mom got in another car accident and I’ve been helping her out at home. I’ve been struggling with faith and contentment with my stage in life and with not knowing What I Am Doing With My Life. (Don’t know why but 24 sounds ancient and like I ought to have things Figured Out. I know it really isn’t, but still.) I’ve been praying but not as much as I’d like. I’ve been helping at church with slides and Other Things. I’ve read a few books. I’ve cleaned a lot.

That probably sounds a lot more exciting and glamorous than it is… Or maybe I just have an exciting life and am used to it, haha. At any rate that is a glimpse of what has been going on in my life.

Where Do You Stand?

where do you stand

The past few weeks–months, really–I’ve been struggling with my faith for various reasons from various sources.

Is this Christianity stuff really real? I mean I know there’s a god, there has to be, but is the Bible true, and is what I believe about God accurate?

It’s been dreadful, to be blunt. I’m not one to shy away from tough questions. I ask them and ponder them. And it’s hard. There are a lot of things that don’t make sense, things I just don’t get.

But there comes a time, I’m learning, to set the questions aside and believe.

One morning as I was struggling with these sorts of doubting, questioning thoughts (in bed–it starts there and rarely quits till after I fall asleep in the evening.) I looked down from my bunk bed and saw this paper on the floor. It was from a sermon our pastor did… one of my siblings was “volunteered” to hold it up. I have no idea why it was there, though.

I looked at it and realized I didn’t know, just then, where I stood. I was stuck somewhere in the misty lowlands.

I knew I had to choose. One can’t stay there forever. So, I did. And I can now say, with the hymn…

On Christ the solid Rock I stand/all other ground is sinking sand.